


The sunshine that comes after the harsh winter

by bokutostan18



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AU - Cherry Blossoms after winter, Akaashi lives with the Bokuto's, Canon Compliant, Car Accidents, Crushes, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, High School, M/M, Unrequited Love, Weird family dynamics, lol they thought it was unrequited, this is my first fic pls go easy on me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:02:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28716972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bokutostan18/pseuds/bokutostan18
Summary: Koutaro had been a rock for Keiji, even well before the accident. He was the one who picked Akaashi up from the ground when he fell riding his bike and scratched his knee. He was the one who bought Akaashi a Game Boy Advanced for his 12th birthday, after saving up his own pocket money for four months. He was the one who, after the accident, let Akaashi cry for hours on his shoulders every day, until his shirt was soaked through with tears. He made Akaashi feel loved again, that he wasn’t alone, that he actually had another chance at having a family who loved him unconditionally.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 6
Kudos: 14





	1. He is, and has been my rock.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all!! This is my first ever fic.. actually this is the first time I've EVER written something that isn't for uni (and I'm a Maths student so my work is really not as interesting as this haha). So if you have any feedback, good or bad, then PLEASE let me know!!!
> 
> This idea came to me when I started reading "Cherry Blossoms after Winter" and I immediately thought that Taesung and Haebom looked like Bokuto and Akaashi. Then I wondered what it would be like if this was how their lives were. This isn't just a carbon copy of the CBAW plot because BokuAka's personalities don't really match Taesung & Haebom's. I just took the general premise of CBAW with the family dynamics.
> 
> I hope to update this series as regularly as I can. I want to use this as an escape from writing more boring research journals haha.

“MOM! DAD!”

Loud screams fell on deaf ears.

14-year-old Akaashi Keiji fell to his knees, tears steadily falling down his face, the only music being the ear-piercing noise of the heart rate monitor, continuously tormenting him that his parents were no more, that he was all alone now, with no one to cherish him, to hold him, to love him…

Akaashi suddenly found himself in a tight embrace, filled with warmth and genuine kindness. He let his head fall on the shoulder of 15-year-old Bokuto Koutaro, who now joined him on the cold hospital floor. Akaashi did not hold back on the tears and sobs, draining his body of all the energy he has. He grabbed onto Bokuto’s shirt tight, like a vice-grip, as if his life depended on it. Bokuto’s hand reached for Akaashi’s hair, carding his fingers through the dark curls as he stays silent, letting Akaashi express his sorrow. They stay there for what seems like an eternity, until Akaashi has used up all of his energy and now lays silent in Bokuto’s arms.

“Keiji...”

Akaashi wearily looks up from the floor to the source of the soft voice, Bokuto’s mother, who had nothing but sympathy on her face, but the tear streaks were still apparent around her eyes.

“I spoke to the care workers and told them that you’d be living with us for a little while, seeing as your other relatives are abroad. If you don’t want to, then that’s also fine, but I think it’d be good, at least for a few weeks.”

Nod was all Keiji could do in response. He didn’t want to live with anyone else. He wanted to live with his parents. He wanted his family back. But he knew he couldn’t have that anymore.

.

.

.

“Akaashi, I brought you food. It’s your favourite! Nanohana no Karashiae!”

Akaashi turned around from where he sat at his desk to the sound of the cheerful voice, who was leaning by the bedroom door, carrying a steaming tray of food in his hands.

“No thank you, Bokuto-san, I’m not hungry”

He could see Bokuto’s hair deflate from where he sat, while a pout slowly formed on the mouth of the black-and-white haired boy.

“But Akaashi, you haven’t eaten in…” Bokuto looks up, his face twisted, looking like he was solving a complicated maths problem in his head “20 hours! I don’t want you to get sick on me now.”

Akaashi wanted to say no. He wasn’t hungry. No amount of food can fill the void in his heart that his parents’ death left. All he could think of was the warmth of his mother’s hugs, the warmth of that he felt when eating his dad’s cooking, and how that was taken from him in a snap, leaving him cold and alone.

It had been four months since his parents were in fatal car accident, but to Akaashi, it still feels as if he’d lost his two biggest inspirations yesterday. Ever since then, he was taken in by the Bokuto family, who had always been good family friends with Akaashi’s parents. They gave him a roof over his head, the clothes on his back and even paid for his tuition. They never expected anything back from him, not even wanting Akaashi to do the dishes or help with the cleaning. Akaashi still helped anyway, as he didn’t want to seem like a burden to the Bokuto’s. The best and worst part of living with them, however, was the boy standing by his bedroom door, Bokuto Koutaro. Koutaro had been a rock for Keiji, even well before the accident. He was the one who picked Akaashi up from the ground when he fell riding his bike and scratched his knee. He was the one who bought Akaashi a Game Boy Advanced for his 12th birthday, after saving up his own pocket money for four months. He was the one who, after the accident, let Akaashi cry for hours on his shoulders every day, until his shirt was soaked through with tears. He made Akaashi feel loved again, that he wasn’t alone, that he actually had another chance at having a family who loved him unconditionally. Akaashi knew however, that he could never and should never have a romantic relationship with Bokuto, because of their unique situation. He didn’t want to be any more of an issue for the family who took him in. He had no choice but to squash his feelings and keep them hidden deep down in his heart.

When he looked up however, and his eyes were met with the colour of warm honey and gold, eyes that conveyed generosity and sincerity, eyes that Akaashi had nothing but love for, he couldn’t say no. Bokuto wanted Akaashi to eat, to be happy, to be loved. Bokuto cared.

“Okay. Thank you, Bokuto-san” Akaashi stood up and took the tray of food from Bokuto before placing it down on his desk so that he could eat. The taste was very welcome to Akaashi, as he savoured each mouthful. Bokuto walked up to Akaashi’s bed and plopped down onto it on his stomach, causing some of Akaashi’s owl plushies (which he got from Bokuto) to fly and scatter around him.

“Hey Akaashi! You ready for your last year of middle school?! You’ll be one of the top dogs now! Captain of the volleyball team and super genius!” Bokuto smiled a toothy smile. Akaashi paused and looked at Bokuto. He let out a small smile, for what seems like the first time in years and Bokuto’s heartbeat quickened a little.

“Bokuto-san, please pick up the owls and put them back by my pillows.” Bokuto nodded as he did as Akaashi asked, placing himself back on the bed after, much gentler this time round. “But yes, I’m very excited. How about you? It’ll be your first year at Fukurodani. I take it you’ll be trying out for the volleyball team. They’ll be lucky to have you on there.”

“I’m so pumped Akaashi! I’m quite sad I won’t have you setting for me for a year. But that’s fine because I know you’ll definitely join me there next year.” He winked at Akaashi; whose cheeks turned a half shade redder. Luckily for Akaashi, Bokuto didn’t notice, as he kept talking on. “I’m quite nervous for the maths classes though, it’s probably so much harder than middle school math! But it’s fine, because I know you’ll be here to help me with it. You’re just a door away after all.” Bokuto lets out a laugh and Akaashi can’t help but a smile along with him.

_Just a door away… that’s as close as we can be to each other._

Akaashi thought to himself as his heart breaks a little.


	2. Lovebirds?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi is sure that Bokuto’s warm gaze can melt away the ice left by the harshest of winters, while the love and care his heart naturally exuded can nurture back life that has been trapped underneath the cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really should be doing work for uni. Who could have thought that writing fics is more fun than studying for a PhD? hahahaha *cries while drowning in research papers to read*
> 
> Also, thank you to those who left kudos and commented on the previous chapter. I didn't even think that anyone would read my work, let alone show that they appreciated it. So again, THANKS!
> 
> I should add that I'm the only one who proof-reads these before I upload them, and I suck at proof-reading so if you spot any typos, please let me know.

“AKAAAAASHIIIIIIIIII”

Akaashi couldn’t even turn his head towards the boy because said boy had barrelled directly into him, causing the pair to topple to the ground. When Akaashi looks up, his eyes were met with Bokuto’s, as warm and loving as ever, now with an added smile that went from ear to ear. Bokuto was practically vibrating with excitement.

“Bokuto-san, please get off me, people are staring.”

“Oh, sorry ‘Kaashi”

Bokuto jumps off Akaashi and straightens back up, then reaching out a hand for Akaashi to help him up. They straighten their clothes and turn to the others who have now gathered around their kerfuffle.

“Yo Bokuto, what the hell are you doing?! Jesus, you’ll scare off the poor first year before they even get to try out!”

A boy with dirty-blonde hair comes forward and smacks Bokuto on the back of his head, resulting in a loud thump echoing through the gym. The boy then reaches out a hand to Akaashi.

“Yo, sorry about him, he just gets a bit excited everytime someone thinks of joining the volleyball club. I’m Konoha Akinori, a second year”

Akaashi reaches for Konoha’s hand and gives a firm handshake.

“Nice to meet you Konoha-san. I’m Akaashi Keiji, first year. And I understand, I know Bokuto-san is just a very excitable person in general”

“Wait, how do you know Bokuto?”

“Oh… umm…” Akaashi feels a rush of panic go through him. He and Bokuto had agreed not tell anyone at school about their situation at home. Akaashi didn’t want to be bombarded by questions by his schoolmates that are to do with his parents. He wasn’t ready to talk about it to anyone else. Bokuto was nothing less than sympathetic and agreed. He didn’t want Akaashi to relive the pain of losing his parents every time someone asked him why he was living with Bokuto.

“We went to middle school together! We were even in the volleyball club together. Akaashi was the best setter ever! So I’m SURE that he’ll make the team!” Bokuto proudly says. He even crosses his arms and puffs out his chest, to exaggerate his pride in Akaashi. Akaashi’s heart warms a little for Bokuto; he knows that the older boy didn’t only cover for his sudden lapse in thought, but he also meant every word he just said. Bokuto always thought very highly of Akaashi and he always wanted them to be the top ace-setter duo in all of Japan. Akaashi would always chuckle at this, but he knew that it could be possible, if they just worked hard enough.

“Well, Akaashi, I feel sorry for you. If you are as good as Bokuto says are, then you’ll be stuck with him for another two years.” Bokuto’s hair deflates at the jab and his shoulders slump a little. This makes him receive another joking smack from Konoha. “I’m just kidding, you dumb owl, I’m excited to see your duo take us all the way to Nationals.”

“HELLLLL YEAHHHHHH” As fast as Bokuto’s mood seemingly sinks, it rises and rings through the entire gymnasium just as fast. It’s infectious. Suddenly, the rest of the volleyball club are cheering as well, excited as if Nationals was happening in a few hours.

Akaashi smiled as Bokuto becomes the centre of the room, the shining star in the middle of the universe, whose gravitational pull entrances the planets around him, pulling them in with his warmth and energy. Akaashi knows that all he can ever be to Bokuto is one of the planets forever circling him, admiring from afar, afraid of getting too close and getting burned.

.

.

.

“Hey Akaashi, we’re still on for practice after school, right?” Bokuto asks as they sit in the cafeteria eating their bento boxes. Well, Akaashi is eating his bento box, while Bokuto inhales the two bento boxes that he was packed. His mother always knew that her son had an appetite for two people.

“Yes Bokuto-san. Please don’t forget that we always have to stay together after school so that no one sees us go home to the same house” Akaashi takes a napkin and wipes away a few stray crumbs from the side of his mouth. The two boys decided to only go home together a few hours after they were dismissed, so that none of their friends could see them go home to the same house. Luckily, they always had the guise of long hours of volleyball training to use as an excuse to tell their friends, so that they had never been caught.

“Oh yeah, sorry ‘Kaashi I forgot about that. Well, I can’t wait to hit more of your sets. I still need to practice the hell out of my straights so that I can use them in our next match!”

“Bokuto-san, we’ve been practicing together every day since I got into the team. That was four months ago. Surely it can’t be that exciting. But I agree, your straights still need a lot of practice” The teasing tone in Akaashi’s last sentence did not go unnoticed to Bokuto.

“AKASHIIII” Bokuto scrunches his face together in pretend annoyance. Akaashi lets out a genuine smile. It’s not a big smile, nowhere near as large as Bokuto’s smile, which could light up a whole country. Still, Bokuto knows that Akaashi is finally letting himself be happy, even just a little bit. It warms Bokuto’s heart and he wants to keep being the one that makes Akaashi smile and laugh, because he knows that Akaashi deserves the world.

.

.

.

“One more Akaashi!” Bokuto’s voice echoes through the almost empty gym. Both he and Akaashi are drenched in sweat. They’d been practicing together now for three hours. Akaashi sits down on one of the benches and goes for a drink of water.

“Bokuto-san, as helpful as practice is for the both of us, getting proper rest is equally as important. We should go home” Akaashi pants between two long sips of water.

“Aw okay. Yeah you’re right. We should rest up so we’re ready for another great practice session tomorrow.” Bokuto chuckled, but it was cut short by the sound of the gym doors opening. Konoha pops his head through the door, an eyebrow raised in suspicion.

“Oya? Why are you guys still here?” The dirty-blond boy said as he walked up to Bokuto and Akaashi.

“Hello Konoha-san.” Akaashi bows in Konoha’s direction. “I was just helping Bokuto-san practice his straights. I guess I was just the unlucky one he chose to put through this pain” Konoha gives a hearty laugh, to which Bokuto gave a face of fake annoyance.

“You know you can just say no to him, Akaashi? He’ll just find another first-year to terrorise.”

“HEY! I didn’t terrorise Akaashi into practicing with me. He chose to practice with me ‘cause he’s just a nice guy, unlike you!” Bokuto sticks his tongue out at Konoha.

“Bokuto-san is correct, Konoha-san. I willingly choose to practice with Bokuto-san. It’s because I know that Bokuto is a star. He can already shine on and off the court, but I know that with my help, he can shine even brighter. I want him to shine so much so that the other team, no, the whole world to be blinded by his talent. I want him to achieve his fullest potential so that he can reach heights that only he can and conquer any obstacle that he faces. I want everyone in the world to appreciate and love him as much as I do. It’s what he deserves, and he shouldn’t settle for anything less. It’s the least I could do for him.” Akaashi’s lips start to curl into a smile before his eyes widen and his cheeks redden a few shades after he realised the things he just said.

_Oh my god. What just got into me?! Did I just confess to him, in front of Konoha-san?! Is Bokuto-san going to think I’m weird now? Why did I say that? Bokuto-san is definitely going to ignore me now. There’s no way I can face him back at home. I have no choice but to move out and find my own place. Wait, I definitely won’t be able to afford. No, I need to get a job first so I can pay for an apar-_

His train of thought was cut short as he was enveloped in an embrace that he is too familiar with. An embrace that radiates nothing but warmth and love. It’s an embrace that he’s sure only Bokuto can give.

“Akaashiiii! No one’s ever said those things about me!” Akaashi could suddenly feel a little bit of wetness on his shoulder.

_Was Bokuto crying?_ Akaashi thought to himself.

“Akaashi, you know I want nothing but the best for you too right?” Bokuto straightens back up, but his hands are still holding onto Akaashi’s shoulders. “And you deserve the whole world, and you better not settle for anything less than that.”

A cough came from the other side of the gym, and Bokuto and Akaashi turn their heads towards Konoha. “As cute as this is, I’m gonna go home and get some sleep. See you lovebirds at practice tomorrow morning!” Before the pair could even say goodbye, the other boy was gone, leaving the two in a silence that accentuated the words the two had exchanged. That, and the fact that Konoha just referred to the two as _lovebirds_.

“Lovebirds?! Huh? What? Konoha was just kidding, Akaashi, don’t mind him. He’s a little shit. Don’t pay attention to anything he says. I try to ign-“

The two lock gazes once again, shutting up Bokuto’s rambling. Gold meets blue. Time seems to stop moving once again, the two trapped in their own little world, where nothing else matters, where Akaashi knows that he won’t feel any pain, because Bokuto is there to look after him. Akaashi is sure that Bokuto’s warm gaze can melt away the ice left by the harshest of winters, while the love and care his heart naturally exuded can nurture back life that has been trapped underneath the cold. At that moment, Keiji realised what being in love feels like. Since his parents left him, he always thought that he could never feel love ever again, as if it was programmed out of his brain when they died, and that he was nothing but a cold body, simply going through the motions of life, until he inevitably dies as well, so that he could finally join his parents. But no, that’s not the case anymore; Akaashi can feel warmth growing steadily in his heart, and this warmth is what will help him enjoy life once again.

_I’m in love with Bokuto-san._

Before he can curse and hate himself for feeling that way, Bokuto’s frantic rambling cut through the air once again.

“Uh, ‘Kaashi, I think we should go home, it’s pretty late huh? Whew time sure does fly by when you’re having fun right?! Yes, yes, yes, but I guess we should get back so we can rest up. As you said, proper rest is important!” Bokuto’s cheeks are still tinged red from their exchange.

“Yes Bokuto-san, I agree. Let’s head back. You can use the shower first. Just let me know when you’re done.”

“Sure, Akaashi. I’ll apologise now for snoring later. I’m so beat and I know that you’ll be able to hear it all that way in your room.” Bokuto scratches the back of his head and wears an apologetic smile, as the two gather their things and walk to the locker room.

“That’s alright Bokuto-san. There’s nothing we can do about that since we’re just a door away from each other.” Akaashi gives a small smile, which receives a larger one from Bokuto.

_Just a door away… that’s as close as we can be to each other._ Again, Akaashi feels a part of his heart break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed that chapter!!! Gosh, I'm writing so much more than I thought I could. I really salute all of the writers on this platform.
> 
> Next chapter should be out in the next few days/next week.


	3. Mom, Dad, I miss you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After you left, I thought that I was nothing but a shell of the boy that I was, but he made me realise that I still have it in me to love someone. God, I love him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not super proud of this chapter, so it's a bit of a copout. I haven't decided how to advance the plot further down the line so this is more like a standalone chapter. 
> 
> Nevertheless, I'm actually really enjoying writing and using it as an outlet for my real-life stresses lol
> 
> This happens the same evening as Chapter 2.
> 
> Thanks for everyone who supports my writing btw <3 it means a lot

Akaashi carefully closes the door behind him. He just got changed into his pyjamas after his lengthy practice session with Bokuto. It was already 11:30pm and he had to be up for volleyball practice with the team in the morning. But one thing kept running through his mind.

_Lovebirds._

Konoha had dropped a bomb on Akaashi. He had simultaneously helped the boy realise the affection and warmth, the love, he had for Bokuto, but also terrified him of the prospect of being left alone by Bokuto, when he inevitably doesn’t return Akaashi’s feelings but rather finds it disgusting. The thought terrified the younger boy.

Instead of falling into an endless pit of overthinking, he grabs a picture frame from his bedside table before plopping onto his bed. It had a picture of 6-year-old Keiji sprawled across the laps of his parents, while they were sat on a park bench. Keiji would occasionally talk to his parents like this, instead of bottling up his emotions inside him. He knows it’d be better if he actually vented to people who were more… alive, but he knew that his parents wouldn’t judge him for anything he said to them.

“Hey mom, dad, I miss you.” Keiji lets out a small chuckle. “I know I say that every time to talk to you, but it’s true, I don’t go a day without missing you both. You know I’ll never forget you. Gosh, it’d be so much easier if you guys were still here. But I guess there’s still some good things happening. The Bokuto’s really do treat me like I’m part of the family. After all this time, they still don’t want me helping out around the house. I still try to help as much as I can though, just so I can give back to them somehow.” Keiji’s mouth forms a small smile. “But Bokuto-san, Koutaro, he’s the one who’s really helped me the most. He’s like the bright light in a dark cave, he opens my eyes to the things that I should still be grateful for, even though I’ve lost you. He’s always there for me when I have my bad days, but he also makes sure that I have my good days. He never fails to put a smile on my face. I mean, just this morning, he took a volleyball square to the face at practice because he was too busy trying to take a selfie. He’s really something else.” His smile flattens and he bites his lip. “He showed me what it’s like to feel loved again. After you left, I thought that I was nothing but a shell of the boy that I was, but he made me realise that I still have it in me to love someone. God, I love him.”

A few stray tears fall onto the picture as he keeps talking.

“But that’s exactly the problem. I know that he just loves me like a brother, like one of the family. And the love I have for him… it goes beyond that. I want him to love me the same way you loved each other. Full of warmth. Full of passion. I know that I can’t feel these things for him. I just can’t. I don’t want his parents to think that I just used them all this time. I don’t want to be any more of a burden to them. I don’t want to lose them. I don’t want to lose Bokuto.” Keiji grabs one of his sleeves and wipes the tears from his eyes. “The only thing I can do is force myself to move on. I can do that, right? It’ll just be a few years, then I can move out for university. I’ll apply for financial aid and get a job, so that I can pay for my tuition and my housing. I don’t have to be a burden to them anymore. Then I don’t have God, my brain feels like mush. Why are emotions so hard?”

Akaashi lay in the silence of the night, clutching at the picture of him and his parents while he stared at the ceiling.

“Why did it have to be you, Koutaro?” Keiji whispered into the air, as he closed his eyes, trying to get a good night sleep.

_Just a door away… that’s as close as I can let us be together_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope to have the next chapter next week. Please bear with me.. Who knew PhDs were hard work?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
> 
> Again, thank you for those who support the fic.. I still can't believe that people are actually reading it haha <3

**Author's Note:**

> Well that's chapter 1! 
> 
> Please let me know what you thought and if there's anything I can improve on. Will hope to post the next chapter within a week. Hopefully the next chapters are a little longer than this one but I just wanted to try out writing first haha.


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